Bring Back Classic Editor
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So WordPress spent five years on perfecting it’s next level 2020 editor? It’s the sort of vanity project only Silicon Valley can afford. Stay tuned for the next episode of …. Just around the corner, only 60 more months. Now that you did, it better be worth the wait.
Logged in to my WP.com account the other day and all of a sudden I’m forced to use the new editor. All I see is “Add Title” or “Start writing/choose a block.” How ‘ bout let me decide? Can’t revert back to the old editor, so I click “manage all reusable blocks.” No points for guessing how many were found. Zero. Now what? Never mind, don’t want to know, just wanna publish my post.
You code monkeys clearly get paid no matter what, enjoy your remaining days in paradise. I need to publish an article now, not figure out how your ‘brilliant’ mind works. I certainly don’t want to add blocks, existent or non-. If I feel the need, I’ll play a game of Tetris instead.
FYI, I prepare my posts in Notepad++, distraction free writing for pro’s. Afterwards I paste the output into WP. For months now even the plainest of plain texts gets the WP improv treatment. And by improv I mean code that comes out of the other end of a desalination plant. All because my WordPress code monkeys overlords and overladies stubbornly switch me to a new editor without asking – for my own good of course. It’s like politicians raising their own pay, so we, the people can have better representation. How many of you actually blog at regular intervals?
This is where the limitations of my non-native skills turn against me. All of a sudden I’m wondering how long I’ve been confusing improvising with improving.
What I want, is to blog, in Dutch and in English. It’s hard enough to write in a foreign language without having to struggle with the new and improved blank page text editor. The old editor works and the one and only change I’ve been waiting for forever was to have the plain text/html button always within reach. Instead, now I’m staring at an almost blank screen. In order to publish my text I need to add blocks.
Take it from a business professional, by the time you keyboard jockeys have to sell disaster as next level enhancements, it’s that time of year again: lay-off time. Simply put, when the actions of an employee [or group of] result in the mass-destruction of value for it’s entire customer base, said company is doomed.
I get it, it’s no fun being a millennial. You code monkeys all wish they were born a decade earlier, just in time to apply for a job at Microsoft, helping design the “new and improved ribbon.” Hesitate no more, you’ve passed the test and can safely send your resume to Richmond. The other day I overheard a conversation about bringing back to life Clippy. So many options, you lucky fellows.
For those of us, who only get paid after we make money, either through sales or advertising, take it from a pro, never decide what’s best for your customer. Not even when you are a de facto blogging monopoly. You must be aware of what an evil empire looks like. If not, take a look in the mirror.
Seriously, girls and guys, what matters more, museum-like aesthetics on your laptop screen or the fact that the product actually works? Be grateful this kind of sorry attitude will forever prevent you from playing in the big league. After all, none of you code monkeys have the stomach to read through the first 300 pages of the Ferrari manual, in order to figure out how to turn on the engine of the car of your dreams.
What you folks have done, is basically killing the [second-hand] car we rely on to get to work. As if a random stranger changed the locks and left the unlocking manual inside. Not in full view of course, sophisticated code monkeys don’t like being outsmarted by stone age technology, like throwing a rock through the window of your own car so you can grab the “new and improved” manual.
TL;DR, Figure out the new stuff when I have the time. Can I have my old editor back now please? Even if I do want to RTFM, where do I find it? No, not in your imaginary Ferrari. Don’t answer that anyway, just give me back what’s mine.
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Update:
For some reason when I read WP, I always think of Wordperfect. Then came Microsoft.
Before I continue, if I cannot find it, you’re wrong, not me.
I like that after clicking the three vertical dots in the upper left corner, some sort of basic toolbar appears and stays put at the top of my screen. In comparison to the previous editor, no more wasting real estate, even on my 24 inch screen. Less awesome is the right column options disappearing whenever I click my body text.
Also like that I no longer have to deal with multiple scroll bars to the right Unless that is WordPress.org. Not sure.
There’s also a bit of bad news, like the endless scroll to the commercial minefield of the add-ons. [Insert add-on here where tour guide raises flag and says “look to the left now everyone.”]
Tried hard not to mention just how superfluous the new outline button is. Paragraph, paragraph, paragraph etcetera. Clearly designed by someone whose Mommy did their homework. As a user with little technical knowledge, AKA a WordPress core user, I considered it a mere nuisance. Not. Just discovered I cannot select more than one paragraph at a time to add italics. Beyond bizar my dear Silicon Tubbies. Clear case of the product works as intended, what do we have to change in order to get a paycheck?
Of course professional pollsters ad polls daily, but for most of us the alphabet in many, infinite variations still rules. The left one third of my screen feels like an invasion of add attention snatchers. “Pay Auttomatic and we’ll put up a button with FREE annoying pop-up on mouse over for something basic bloggers never use.” Good thing, then, that Silicon Valley is one, big, happy family where we all help out each other, peddling digital smut to TP [the product, you and me, dear user.]
Even worse, the insane logic of having to press “Publish” before you find where labels are hidden. Don’t worry kiddies, in about five years time you’ll need to buy your first razor blade. Only 60 more months.
Adding tags is a mere “suggestion”? Here’s a freebie, learn to change your own diapers. Your Mamma and Pappa wil be so proud. “Look at our offspring, 25 and finally able to change their own diaper.”
Anyway, the option to add tags seems to disappear from the pane as soon as I add a second one. It’s a label I haven’t used before.
Not accusing the code monkeys of hiding categories – even if featured images are deemed more important – but being the product I am, why isn’t it next to labels in the same pane?
On a non-related note, and still working on my 24 inch screen, do you self-appointed gods of crap code really need a horizontal scroll bar to make enough room for a calendar? All it takes, is to sacrifice a few pixels elsewhere. Looking at the 1/3rd half at the left side of my screen [completely empty] that shouldn’t be hard. Ever heard of the difference between lazy coding and loser coding? Neither do I, because there isn’t.
After adding tags, you have to click cancel to go back to the previous screen. Dear little ones, you’re so out of your league. No matter who your Silicon Valley hero is, they’re laughing much harder than I am now. Must be an insider joke. Don’t bite when Mark, Elon, Bill and Jack team up for a crowd funding to offer you a scholarship to study philosophy. There is no university on Antarctica.
As for “Are you ready to publish? Double-check your settings before publishing” you toddlies clearly didn’t. When superiors dole out superior advice it clearly doesn’t apply to themselves. Way to superior to take their own advice.
Upon returning to the main scream, I notice the publishing button shows a blue background, but not Save Draft and Preview. That’s what happens when people [rejected padawans] push out the final product, eons before it’s ready. Must have something to do with that itchy diaper.
Also “Selecting a featured image is recommended for an optimal user experience.” Is that why you broke the theme you yourselves suggested (Hemingway) on purpose. How dare individual users bypass our suggested optimal user experience by not using a featured image? Let’s break the font size and color used for all other images. That’ll show them, AKA us, the customer. [1]
If you cannot update the editor without breaking one of it’s most often used themes – one that’s being heavily promoted -it’s time to apply for unemployment benefits. And yes, feel free to fill out the required form by hand. Lucky you. Now that you have some free time on your hands, read this (source WPbeginner.com)
“Automattic was started by the co-founding developer of the open source WordPress software, Matt Mullenweg.
Matt created Automattic in 2005, almost two years after WordPress, with the primary purpose to make WordPress hosting easier and allow people with little technical knowledge to start a blog with WordPress.”
“You’ve still got a way to go with that ‘easier’ thing, my young padawan.”
The harsh truth is that not all young padawans are created equal. Remember this one?
“So certain were you. Go back and closer you must look.”
TL;DR. Is one pandemic at a time not enough? Or does working at home, unsupervised, bring out the worst in some code monkeys? Most likely, but not enough to explain why it took five years to build this disaster. The Titanic, on the other hand, took only half that time. [2]
Seriously, I need to maintain a WP.com blog but even after pushing out a handful of posts under the tyranny of its new editor, I freak out as soon as I finish my basic text in Notepad++ and open wordpress.com in my browser. Pavlov is so proud of the WordPress code monkeys. Which is not a compliment, just saying.
PS, So you did find out, there are no job openings at Microsoft to bring back Clippy. That’s probably why Google’s latest attempt at destroying the internet, AMP (accelerated mobile pages) is turned on by default. Not that I believe Automattic makes a lot of money selling ads, but now it’ll be even less. All it took is one mistake to be blacklisted by Google HR for life.
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[1] If they [AKA we the fools who continue to use WP] still refuse to obey their code monkey overlords, just wait for the next update of the magnificent editor. Only 60 more months. Drool, drool.
[2] Officially, the Titanic took two years and two months to build. WordPress code monkeys need twice the time to build a disaster on a similar scale.
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