How do I turn off stats?
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Sounds like a great topic for a blog post. You might tag it “stats” and “culture” and some other things and see what kind of conversation it generates. I personally like having access to stats, but I only ever notice them now and then. So if it makes you feel better, not everyone is obsessing. :)
For the technical end of things, you could use something like https://userstyles.org/ to add this CSS:
#wp-admin-bar-stats { display: none; }
There are youtube how-tos out there, or you can use other browser plugins to do similar things.
That wouldn’t remove stats references from other places at WordPress.com, but it would take the sparkline off your admin bar. Hope that helps!
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