1littleblackdress
1littleblackdress
| Forum role | Member since | Last activity | Topics created | Replies created |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Member | Jul 4, 2014 (12 years) |
- | 1 | 0 |
- Forum role
- Member
- Member since
Jul 4, 2014 (12 years)
- Last activity
- -
- Topics created
- 1
- Replies created
- 0
Bio
What can I say? You have to know me to love me. Reading my words, my stories, about my experiences and life transformations, both with positive and negative consequences, commenting with feedback, sharing if a particular blog touches you in some way or if you've had a similar experience, as well as emailing me will tell you more about me than the "About Me" section.
Some quirky things that you may not learn from my writing: I love to dance. I took ballet lessons for 12 years, well into my teen years, and gave it up only because of family relocations and from time to time not really having a family much at all. I want to begin taking ballet lessons again but right now my plate is full. That's one dream I want to fulfill, I had just gotten my first pair of toe shoes when I had to quit. I'm going to go back and work to that point and beyond, no matter how long it takes.
For now, I dance in the kitchen when I cook dinner and I sing along to what my friend calls, "gangsta' rap" when I clean the house.
I love to memorize funny or meaningful movie quotes and text them to friends randomly: Guess what movie?
"I helped you come up with this, when you were drunk and came home from the bar last Thursday."
"Alibi"
"Yes"
At the same time, I get lost going to my favorite Italian Deli for my favorite NY style cannoli every single fucking time!
I had breast cancer in 2010 with a bilateral mastectomy. I had eight months of chemo and over a period of two years, four breast reconstructive surgeries.
As the result of parental neglect as a child, I am deaf in my left ear and I have a BAHA hearing aid. It's a Bone Anchored Hearing Aid and it fits on the outside of the back of my skull bypassing the ear canal and the ear drum. It some sort of bone conduction thing. I've had possibly ten or more ear surgeries since the year 2000, most recent being November 2013. The BAHA is great. Without it I couldn't hear leaves rustling or birds singing. But it's also a pain in my ass because it's obtrusive and people question and I've had it two years and both times it has gone defunct on me and had to be replaced leaving me deaf for a few days while said BAHA's were in transit. I'm grateful every day when I wear it because I hadn't heard the birds sing in over ten years.
I've been divorced once, a very long time ago, amicable.
I was/am an addict. Some states I've lived differentiate alcoholic from addict, as if addiction itself was different between the two drugs of choice. Where I live now, the preferred introduction is: "Hi, my name is…addict." Whereas, for some reason, I think drug addicts are more badass, I preferred the meetings up North: "Hi, my name is…I'm an addict/alcoholic. It made me feel badass anyway. When you read my article entitled Insidious, you'll have a better idea of the origins of my addiction. Although I don't believe anyone ever really knows. I've never heard anyone say something like: "It was Dec 12, 1996 when I first became addicted to pain medications." I have heard people speak about the realization of unmanageable lives and a time period in which they realized they were facing either recovery or death. If I heard the statement, obviously that person chose recovery. Currently I'm in recovery. Will I always be an addict? Will I always be considered in recovery? I don't know because I don't really know what those things mean. Will I be cured, so to speak? The American Cancer Society claims that if a cancer patient survives 5 years or more, the chances of reoccurrence are slim to none, but I don't think I've ever heard the word cured, maybe remission?
Semantics, what can you do?
Today I enjoy kayaking and living two blocks from the Atlantic Ocean. In February I'm going to Mexico for a month to attend a literary conference. In May I'm going to do some traveling a bit in Europe. For me to sit here and give a definitive definition of who I am, would be unfair to the readers and unfair to me as a growing, changing, evolving, learning individual.
All of life experiences change us, some experiences are better than others, but they change us, mold us, shape us into who we are today.
Today I can look in the mirror and say: I love you just the way you are, I forgive you, today is a new day to start again. Then I go about my day focusing on being a better person than I was the day before, living congruently with the values I have set for myself.
Read on my past, current and future friends. There is much more to this journey ahead of us and the only way to keep the peace and joy and emotional balance we have found is by sharing it and that's what I hope to do through this blog. My hope is that you will share with me as well and our community will uplift, encourage, strengthen and support each other to be the best versions of ourselves.
xoxo
Gwennie
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