dmsmyth
dmsmyth
| Forum role | Member since | Last activity | Topics created | Replies created |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Member | Oct 30, 2010 (15 years) |
- | 7 | 8 |
- Forum role
- Member
- Member since
Oct 30, 2010 (15 years)
- Last activity
- -
- Topics created
- 7
- Replies created
- 8
Bio
On February 23rd, 2012, my 21-year-old son, Philip, died. It was sudden and unexpected. I was devastated, heartbroken, terrified, none of which comes close to describing what I really felt. It’s just the best I can do at the moment.
And in my devastation, the “Who am I?” and “What am I here for?” quest that drove so much of my life ended. The essential question, the one that seems without the answer I’m so desperate to find, is, “How do I live in the face of death? How do I make meaning in the aftermath of the unthinkable?”
For this there is no one answer; there is no one meaning. The first and obvious thing was (is, and will always be) Natalie, my daughter. For the rest of it, I just don’t know. Most of the time I can’t even imagine. What if I could do anything, anything at all, I ask? What does it matter, if this is how life feels, I answer. But someone recently quoted Joan Didion, who said, "I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking…what I see and what it means.” And that just made some damn good sense.
Here, then, is my attempt at the same.
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