sillyoldjen
sillyoldjen
| Forum role | Member since | Last activity | Topics created | Replies created |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Member | Sep 22, 2015 (10 years) |
- | 1 | 4 |
- Forum role
- Member
- Member since
Sep 22, 2015 (10 years)
- Last activity
- -
- Topics created
- 1
- Replies created
- 4
Bio
Jenny is a contemporary artist and a survivor of anaesthetic awareness and brain injury; she now lives and works in Bexhill (England) after a recent move from France. Jenny uses abstract and representational forms and a variety of media to produce works which are often inspired by people and the natural world.
My artist statement:
I use my art to try to express myself and also to communicate my thoughts, ideas and emotions to others without words. It is often difficult for me to express things with words so for me to try to explain my visual art is nearly impossible, that’s why I make my art!
For my pleasure or my goal I use and play with many different implements and materials and use both 2D and 3D techniques. For me the creative process is a voyage of discovery. I sometimes try to create something I see or which is in my head, but frequently I have the sensation that my hand moves holding the pencil or brush without conscious control, then without preconceived ideas or planning it is a surprise what appears. My errors often provide me with new techniques and ideas - happy accidents.
I produce my lines, forms, marks or symbols in different ways: clear and strong, incomplete, vague or confused. I like and use black and white because they are strong together but I also love the millions of greys and bright or pale colours, each has its place.
I use brushes, a sponge or found objects to create coloured blocks of colour or prints and I often scribble/scratch into these while the paint is wet. Sometimes I cut a stamp out of lino, balsa or other material to print from - I adore how we can print from the same block but every time it’s different: patterns and textures change. My collages are often a mixture of papers I’ve created in the past and in different ways and using various techniques but I also make papers for a specific purpose.
I use abstract and pictorial forms, often mixed together and enjoy making lines: spontaneous, fluid and curved or straight. I return frequently to the same themes of faces, heads and bodies (and masks, rôles, identity, movement), of human characters, creatures and aliens from my imagination. I sometimes write phrases or words on the work, at other times I use symbols - well known and understandable or not. I mix up my memories, my thoughts and my ideas which may end up rather a jumble!
I often feel like an alien in a world that moves too fast, is too complicated and incomprehensible. I am assaulted and injured by noises, smells, lights and signs which shout too loud and overwhelm my eyes and brain. My art helps me block out these sensory intrusions and my traumatic memories and feelings, it helps to calm me, it is my therapy and my medication. Therefore I need and love simplicity, but often my subjects are not simple: each artwork I make feels like one part, one facet, of many complicated stories and vast subjects, mixed up and always in flux.
I love nature and also use the shapes, patterns and visual languages of our world: pebbles, fish, jelly fish, the sea, plants, flowers, trees, insects, animals, birds, clouds stars... For me, everything on earth and in our universe is connected and I feel the invisible cords which connect us with everything. I see and feel both the micro and macro and I use my art to ask questions: it interests me how and when we control and change nature and our own human natures/behaviours. Through my art I contemplate the natural and built environments we construct for our wants and needs and question who decides what and how we do this. What is art and can art help change the world?
I am my history: I have survived unusual injuries and experiences which have changed me greatly and have educated me, so my art is now more sensitised to these vast and important subjects. My emotions are extreme: when I see the sea and its colours and movements or a tiny beetle with a pretty design on its back I feel overwhelming joy that I am alive and full of wonder at our incredible world, but I also suffer extreme sadness, fear and despair because I am outraged by things which are enormously horrible, unfair and cruel. My art reflects these extremes.
It is for others to see what they want in my art, they will add their own histories, memories and ideas - everyone experiences the world differently, happily, because our diversity of experiences, understanding and being is wonderful. I continue my life’s voyage, follow my personal paths and way of living the best I can. The ‘average person’ does not exist but in one way I am ‘normal’ and like everyone else: everyone and everything influence me and almost everything interests me.
Un peu de mon histoire - français (2017):
Je suis née en Angleterre mais toute ma vie j’ai voyagé en France et depuis 35 ans c’étais mon rêve de m’installer dans ce coin. J’ai habité ici à La Garde (ce fois) depuis Mai 2014.
Il y 10 ans j’ai subis les lésions cérébrales donc j’ai un handicap qui touche toute les facettes de ma vie.
Avant j’étais blessé et quand j’ai été étudiante j’ai eu les boulots très variés. J’ai obtenu B.A. (Hons) en Communication/arts graphiques à l’Ecole des Beaux-Arts de Brighton (Brighton Polytechnic), GB et j’ai travaillé comme graphiste/designer auto-entrepreneur pendant longtemps.
J’ai toujours fait la peinture et j’ai utilisé les autres matériels pour ma plaisir toute ma vie et j’ai fait pleins des stages pour essayer des autres techniques et d’acquerir encore plus des compétences.
Mais un jour en 2005 en GB j’ai en une diagnostique médicale pas correcte, un opération pas nécessaire et je me suis réveillé dans la salle d’opération paralysé avec la suffocation et j’ai pensé que j’étais décédé.
J’étais étonné de me reveiller dans la salle de reveille: j’ai survis! J’étais pleins de la joie que j’étais encore vivante et j’ai eu le sens que le sommet de mon crâne a ouvrit et mon cerveau touchais l’universe; je regardais notre monde beau et incroyable pas comme avant et j’ai vu les choses que j’ai vu jamais avant.
Je suis vivante mais bien blessé avec les blessures et handicaps «invisibles» comme les problêmes cognitives, du mouvement et du mémoire. J’ai bien travaillé sans arrête pour essayer de reprendre mes compétences, mais je sens maintenant que je progresse seulement avec mon art et le français!
Dans une domaine je suis «normale» et comme tout le monde: tous et toutes sont mes influantes.
A cause de mes lésions cérébrales j’ai des problêmes grands: je ne peux pas filtrer les surchargements sensorielles donc pour moi mon art m’aide bloquer les intrusions et me calme, les arts plastiques sont les thérapies qui m’aide et ils sont aussi mon passion.
Mon relocation ici est positive, un debut neuf: pleins des gens de faire leurs connaissance, les androits et les coutumes/habitudes de découvre; le ciel bleu toute l’année me trouve dehors plus souvent, en plus un saison pour la baignade à la mer plus long - ceux sont mes médicaments.
Pour moi la création d’art est une voyage de la découverte; j’ai le sensation que mon main bouge avec le crayon ou le pinceau sans le contrôle de mon cerveau, donc sans planning ou des idées avant c’est une surprise c’est quoi apparaît sur le papier.
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I was born in the UK and live in La Garde (83130) near Toulon, France. I would like this site to be bi-lingual but I think I need to find (or create - if clever enough) a theme which makes doing that easy such as columns side-by-side? I've never customised or created a website before and don't know if I can learn to. We'll see how truly accessible site creation is now...
Artist, living with an acquired brain injury (ABI or BI = brain injury) and anaesthetic awareness/medical errors/awake paralysis survivor. If I like something I will say and if I can think of ways to improve something I will suggest it - if I can think/talk and not forget to.
I live in muddle and chaos: I can't find things nor always understand what I see. I've worked very hard to regain my skills and try to learn new ones but my daily life is a continual struggle: extreme fatigue, insomnia and nightmares, depression/anxiety/panics, constant pain, movement and visual difficulties and big problems with memory (especially short-term) and all things described as 'executive functions' which means my brain functions as badly as a company would if the boss was always drunk, the secretary always off sick or on holiday and the workers are on strike and/or incompetent. Sounds funny but mostly it isn't.
I sometimes describe it for people who are tech thus: my HD (computer hard drive) needs a defrag (needs defragmenting) and is only 180MB, only 16 kb of RAM and it malfunctions constantly, infected with viruses which corrupt my saved files (my memories), keyboard sticks, screen is scratched and out of focus, USB ports wobbly (communication in & out BAD). Try and imagine life like this - if you can...
For others I say - imagine:
- trying to pluck your eyebrows with gardening gloves on to hold the tweezers; and the party game we played as kids - when the music stops you must put on hat, skarf, sunglasses, big gloves and cut up a cold thick mega bar of chocolate with a knife and fork - you only get to eat what you manage to get in your mouth before the music starts again. No health & safety in those days: we all ate from the same fork: good germs, built up resistance I think.
Loads to say & can never say/write it wel enough: problems with maths/numbers, dyslexia and talking/understanding speech (including instructions) = VERY tiring, makes me sad because I love being with people/chatting, one of my saddest losses together with difficulties with family, friends & relationships - the new me can be very hard work for others to adapt to.
To give you a bit of an idea, imagine (if you can):
- trying to prepare and cook a meal when very drunk;
- going shopping in the supermarket after having taken LSD (or very drunk);
- trying to understand instructions/directions in greek or russian
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