havepenwillwrite
havepenwillwrite
| Forum role | Member since | Last activity | Topics created | Replies created |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Member | Apr 16, 2008 (18 years) |
- | 1 | 4 |
- Forum role
- Member
- Member since
Apr 16, 2008 (18 years)
- Last activity
- -
- Topics created
- 1
- Replies created
- 4
Bio
Hmmm .... Check this out ....
I was a 17 lb. baby with 3” fingernails and a thick mass of stainless steel Scouring Pad-like hair. My mother struggled 30 hours in labor, but I wasn’t going to give up the carefree life so easily. Man. It was real comfy in there, warm, secure. And the reassuring maternal heartbeat ….. music to my ears. In fact, where do you think I learned to Two-Step?
Eleven months following my conception (Yukky! Mercy, Dad!!), I decided “enough is enough”; besides, I wanted to know what all those muffled instructions, “breeeath …” and “puushhh …” were all about ‘cos every time someone said those words, I felt tremendous pressure all around me building a desire to poop. And in that dank darkness, I couldn’t even see where I was pooping. (Must’a left a freakin’ mess in thar’!).
Anyway, only 30 hrs into labor and the chickenshit doctor concedes defeat! He couldn’t evict me in the proper manner thru’ the front door so he decided to cheat! The sly bastard! I was wondering where that “snip, snip” and “rip, rip” was coming from. The next I knew was the ceiling being torn apart … this blinding light … a circle of heads all around the opening like I was the object of some gruesome séance, and a pair of menacing hands reaching in and lifting me right up and away from my sanctuary! Why, the nerve of the guy!
I was too spellbound to object. Then, to add insult to injury, he hangs me upside down by my tiny feet and delivers a resounding slap on my precious little buttocks – in front of everybody, no doubt to get even for making him work so hard! That’s not all, Folks. Listen to this: He proceeds to hold my “thingie” and stretches it. The faggot! It felt good though! And then the nurse hands him something shiny, metallic ….. Holy Shit! It’s a freaking KNIFE! Hey Doc! The joke’s gone far enough! You’re not serious, are you? Egad! He’s going to cut off my wee-wee! This man is a lunatic! No wonder they’re all in white! HEEELLLPP!! Mooomm. I’m sorry for being such an asshole! Get this clown off’a me. Daaad ….. Why do you all have that sadistic grin on yo… YEAOW …You sonnafa …
CONT'D: http://havepenwillwrite.wordpress.com/category/mission-possible/about-me/
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